topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by cloris ge (Ge Haiyan) on Sat Nov 08, 2014 11:53 am

Tu Yuan wrote:As the passage indicated :"We were social creatures from the start, mammalian bees, who depended entirely on each other."; “We are shaped, to a greater extent than almost any other species, by contact with others”. The digital ages overwhelmed nowadays’ young generation, and seems we fail to escape from the network of  connection with our mobile phone, tablets and similar digital devices like iPhone, iPad and etc. But it comes to tragedy that we only make connection with each other through these digital devices instead of face to face communication and interaction. The close relationship between each other had gone away gradually. Couples are less likely to express and exchange their thoughts, emotions and feeling together, kids and parents spend less time together to enjoy happy hours and family life. And we should re-consider the relationship with different people in the society, even though it is full of conflict and argument.
Actally, I'm agree with you.
With the development of the technology for communication, the exchanges between people more and more pass through mobile phone or facebook and so on, ranther than face to face communication.
Besides that, some of the people enjoy the time of talking with strangers, however, they may ignore the communication with their families and friends. They spend too much time in the virtual world, while in the realistic sociaty, they may complain that they are so lonely that no one take care of them.
To change this situation, we could not indulge the virtual world, and we should spend more time out of the house to accompany our families and friends.
Meanwhile, the old man is one of the main people who feel lonely. The emergence of this situation is due to general work pressure increasing to young people and the value of success, which is seeking fame and fortune, so that there is little time to communicate between the old and the young people.
We may review the meanning of our lives and reflect on our values. Money dose not mean happiness.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by XU Iris (Shanshan) on Thu Sep 24, 2015 1:15 pm

Nowadays, people can’t live without internet and smartphone; they spend hours on Weibo (Chinese Twitter), WeChat and other social network app, they keep posting photos as well as following others updates. It’s so common that you see everyone lower his or her head and focus on smartphone in all the public transportation. People even don’t talk to each other during dinner time, they just focus on their smart phone. I remember I had dinner with one of my friends, when the dish came, we both took pictures and posted on Weibo, then we commented each other’s picture. I thought this was really fun, but afterwards, I felt so sad. People ignore things nearby but seek for others far away. This is kind of social isolation.

I think one capability we lose today is how to get along with ourselves. One thing I still remember is last time when I spent my vacation in a small island with beautiful beach, I was so impressed by the view. Blue sky and nice ocean, I believe everyone could relax by the landscape. However, I could still see lots of people ignore the view but concentrate on smartphone. I think the root cause is they don’t know how to better deal with themselves, so they feel uncomfortable when they are alone. The social network is more like a tool to save them from endless loneliness.

Why don’t we focus on this moment? Enjoy the dinner, enjoy the conversation with your friends who sit next to you, enjoy the ocean and beach, and enjoy the moment you don’t do anything. Feel your heart, feel the growth, feel the spirit and feel the energy.

Once you can get along with yourself, you can go through the loneliness and start to enjoy it.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by YANG Jing on Sat Sep 26, 2015 7:54 pm

To tell the truth, I used to be very uncomfortable for loneliness, I cannot understand why people pay more time on the smart phones than for other person. So I have tried a lot to get rid of loneliness and luckily succeeded. We need to improve the communication skills, learn more and speak less. Normally the one who spend more time of smart phone is not for the reason that smart phone is more interesting that other person, the real reason is that he might try to share some experience with others, but the feedback from others is not very good. Then he thought that others are not interested in communicate with himself. If you really wants to a better communication with others, learn to hear from today!

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by Shirley Zheng on Mon Sep 28, 2015 11:18 am

With the past pace growth of e-era, factories have closed, people travel by car instead of buses, use YouTube rather than the cinema. But these shifts alone fail to explain the speed of our social collapse. These structural changes have been accompanied by a life-denying ideology, which enforces and celebrates our social isolation.
Our lives are becoming nasty, brutish and long. In which way you want to live, interaction with friends with temperature and body language or wandering on the website along with the key board noise surrounding.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by Lujinyuan on Tue Oct 13, 2015 6:39 am

Loneliness is not what should be rescued. Actually, before discussing how to solve the problem of loneliness. We have to answer that whether loneliness is bad for our lives or not. The feeling of loneliness is up to different people, it's hard to tell that more and more people feel loneliness because we can't compare our loneliness with our ancestors. One phenomenon we observe is that more people seems to suffer from mental problems while the cause may be quite various. Loneliness alone won't decide the rate of such a disease. So when we go back to the starting point of our question, we find that there's no evidence to say that loneliness is increasing and becoming more harmful to human beings.
The next question is how to look upon loneliness. It's really a bad thing for elders in that they need help but usually can't receive. But for youngsters, it's hard to say. Some people do feel happy when they are alone. Also, the feeling of loneliness does not simply come from being alone. In a word, loneliness is hard to define and clarify. We know it may be a new trend that more people feel alone, but we should not easily blame it or even blame today's world.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by CHANG Yan, Carol on Tue Oct 13, 2015 2:37 pm

Certain proper amount of loneliness would be good to human beings from time to time, reason is simple - eveyone needs to take some personal private time to calm down, to think, to hear inside of himself/herself. But too much loneliness or to frequent loneliness obviously will kill a person, cutting yourself out away from the world, from society, from other human beings will result in mind-closure, or more and more push themselves to extreme thought, when a person stops to communicate to external world, then he or she is heading to death with himself or herself.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by Chen Yujia on Tue Oct 13, 2015 5:01 pm

Though technology has changed the tools we have to reach out to others, it has not changed our deep psychological need to truly connect with others. We put pictures on our friend zone, give comments on others' statues, chat in wechat group, however, all the social connection doesn't fulfill our deepest and most basic need to have an emotional connection with another person.Social media makes us more densely networked than ever, but ironically with all the connection, we become lonner, and loneliness is making us mentally and physically ill. Social media is just creating a sense of illusion that we're connected. With hundreds of liking and commenting on your pictures, we still feel lonely, maybe technology has distracted us from being trully connected, by feeling and by sole.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by JennyWu on Wed Oct 14, 2015 1:36 pm

It's really a good article for reading.
Being alone doesn't necessarily mean being lonely. It's necessary to be independent and manage most of the errands on ones own when growing up. But when do we begin to feel lonely?
When still in the campus, we spend most of the time along with our classmates and teachers. We discuss homework together and have fun. After graduation, we set off to different destinations and contact less with each other as time goes by. In the adults world, career weights more and we spend a lot of time for social. That's the problem in my opinion.
What if we spend a great time staying with family? will we feel lonely still?
In this fast-moving business world, everyone devotes himself to pursue career success and money. As it is revealed in the article “Many of them reported feeling financially insecure: to reach safe ground, they believed, they would need, on average, about 25% more money. (And if they got it? They’d doubtless need another 25%). One respondent said he wouldn’t get there until he had $1bn in the bank.” The common value of being rich drive us to the dilemma situation today. Youngsters leave their hometown to take a job in metropolitan such as Shanghai, Tokyo, New York and HongKong. Their goal shines on top, encouraging them keep on stepping forward.
The article talks a lot about the new tech breaks people apart, i agree but not completely. Besides the explosion of information which have attracted ppl's attentions, the meaning of life also affect the way ppl behave and think. We grow up in an environment where olders keep telling us to study hard, we were not taught to deal with such huge amount of tech equipment. Consequently, mental health shall also draw teachers attentions. Only in this way, will the next generation growing up happier.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by ZhangWenwen on Wed Oct 14, 2015 4:11 pm

Why people are getting more lonely at this age? The writer hold the view that it's the strange "religion" of the current society - everyman against everyman. The society is celebrating persona success and isolation and competition brings the tention to everyone's life. It gives me some reflections to change the life status.

Pay more attention to others needs, remember the reason and the beauty of life is LOVE

Be thankful to what I already have, the happiness is more about the satisfaction level and expectation

Join more social activities.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by Renee CAO Lei on Thu Oct 15, 2015 4:43 pm

We are living in a fast-pace society; all the things need to be fast, together with pressure around us. Working, talking, walking, and no time to thinking and relaxing. We always feel anxious and unconfident in this kind of circumstance.
Lonely is not terrible, but trapping in this feeling is terrible, so enjoying lonely and finding happiness out of that is more important. So inner balancing and self inspiring are the keys of finding happiness.
First, accept my imperfections and being myself.
Second, open mind and be kind to the world.
Third, find a hobby I am truly loved and get happy from that.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by Yonglei Xu on Fri Oct 16, 2015 3:59 pm

This is the age of loneliness,as the article mentioned.I agree that this issue is becoming serious,at least in our country,China.For the old people,their children moved to other cities for their own life,normally they were busy for survive in the city and far away from hometown.So the old people stayed at home and loneliness always were surround them.Watching TV is important part of their life.Especially in China there were also many family with the loss of independence.
Except the old people,the development of technology made the life better and also let people depending on the internet time.Under the pressure of the city life,young people also spent the time at home with websites but limit time for the face to face communication.

When we realized the age of loneliness is killing us,firstly,we should start to change our understanding of life meaning.Do not seek one thing-fortune or honor. Learn to enjoy the life and human feeling.
Secondly,go out for more activities with people.Do not just depending the government but try manage the life by yourselves.

Human has the rich feelings,which is different form other animals.We should manage it and make the life on the way you like

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by Guanghaofeng on Fri Oct 16, 2015 4:41 pm

Here it is an intersting topic. Loneliness is a bad feelings for us, especially that when we want to get things done, and at that time, we hope it is really hopeless. But at another time, we have to admit that when we feel lonely and just stay by ourselves, we can have more thinkings and ideas, or say, we could be more focus to what we are doing.
But for the essense of this topics, when you feel that the age of loneliness is truely swollen us, I think the most important thing is to alter our thoughts and imagination for a little bit. Your aspect to the world is the very unique one, and we should appreciate that we have the opportunity to live in this world, you have the ability to think to enjoy the life, why not try to have a proliferate time? Human beings are a very complex thing and it is hard to experience all things very smoothly. But we could try to get things better.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by qncheng on Fri Oct 16, 2015 4:51 pm

Loneliness in China will be much more serious due to the One-Chlid policy. When the only child get married, the left home and live far away from parents. We come home even if once a year. Parents are getting old and old with no children company. They feel lonely.
Besides old people, young people feel lonely as we connected ourself tightly with the cellphone, ipad, and laptop. We watch more and talk less. We feel lonely even if we are surrounded by people. Why? It seemed impossible. We are talking to people but we still feel lonely. The reason is that we are created by God reflecting God. It's is infinite in our heart. We need faith,hope and love. Only the infinite God could fill us fully other finite things.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by Summer(Zuo Congcong) on Fri Oct 16, 2015 5:56 pm

At the first sight of the name of this article, I was wandering why it said loneliness is killing us. In my mind, loneliness is a neutral word and the emotional feeling related with it depends on the point--do you have the ability to enjoy loneliness.
The article explained , the loneliness today is the post-social product caused by individual's desire to be different. While this kind of being loneliness can't make you happy, because you are pretending to be lonely, you don't enjoy it.
If you really enjoy to be alone, you have the ability to read ,to watch movie, to think lonely, not to act as lonely, this kind of real loneliness will not kill you, but serve you a happy life.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

Post by marvin5 on Fri Sep 23, 2016 9:28 pm

I have another idea. While high technology providing convenience to us, it also gives us more reasons not to communicate to others. Of course, it leads some people's mental diseases, but maybe this is a inevitable result of Technology progress and will lead a new social formation, people will get other way to resolve the problem of loneliness.

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Re: topic:the age of loneliness is killing us

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